How loneliness can get in the way of a happy retirement

It’s been called the silent killer that can cripple a person’s retirement.
Loneliness is affecting retirees who don’t have a concrete plan of how they’ll spend their time, advisers say. When asked about what they’ll do during retirement, many clients say they’ll “relax,” which is understandable after decades of employment. But advisers say problems can ensue when clients aren’t more specific about the form that relaxation will take.
“Many people don’t necessarily know what’s going to be that thing that fills their time,” says Adam Chapman, certified financial planner at YESmoney in London, Ont. “So, suddenly, relaxing becomes the thing that we do.”
Relaxing can mean doing not much. Mr. Chapman points to a statistic about U.S. seniors over the age of 60 spending more than four hours a day on screens, usually television, an increase of almost half an hour a day over the past decade.
“They basically just replaced their working career with TV,” he says. “I don’t think most people choose to retire to watch TV.”
Janine Guenther, portfolio manager and senior family wealth adviser at Bellwether Investment Management in Vancouver, finds that her clients have concrete retirement ideas, but too often they’re based on one outcome. So, if circumstances change – such as a spouse dying unexpectedly or deciding to divorce, aging parent issues, or a health scare – clients struggle to adjust their plans.
That means advisers need to engage in more meaningful conversations about retirement. To start, Ms. Guenther likes to focus her questions on clients’ plans for their savings.
“Money without a purpose is really quite boring,” she says. “If you don’t have a plan to spend the money or use it, why are you saving?”
Mr. Chapman also sees retired clients who have more than enough savings but who struggle to spend. He says clients who are afraid to spend often stay home and do nothing, which could lead to loneliness.
“It can be hard for them to get their heads around spending money on new activities that may not work out,” he says.
Mr. Chapman starts discussions more generally, mentioning how some of his retired clients struggle with planning how to manage their days. He’ll ask questions such as, “How are you finding the transition? What does your weekday look like?”
Susan Latremoille, co-founder of Next Chapter Lifestyle Advisors in Toronto, has noticed that men tend to struggle more with the transition to retirement. In many cases, she says, their identity has been tied to their career for so long and they aren’t sure who they are without their business card.
“That lack of identity contributes to the loneliness,” she says.
Some retirees envision getting together regularly with their former work colleagues, but “the reason you were connected to them isn’t there anymore,” Ms. Latremoille points out. “You’re not going to call up people and talk about the past. That’s where replacing the social connections with new groups becomes so critically important.”
She notes that women generally thrive with social connections. They’re more likely to maintain regular contact with family members and close friends and aren’t afraid to try new activities.
Mr. Chapman says men, on the other hand, often use sports such as golf as a retirement starting point, but these pursuits may not endure long term.
“Some of the more physical activities are the first ones to go,” he notes. “So, it’s finding other things they can still do when they’re older.”
Mr. Chapman points to his stepfather as an example. In his first few years of retirement, he golfed hundreds of rounds, but now he’s down to around 40 rounds a year. As that’s all he focused on for years, he now has a lot of time to fill.
“The less he golfed, the less social he is and the more isolated he feels,” Mr. Chapman says. “He also doesn’t have those complementary non-physical activities that would maintain social relationships longer.”
Ms. Latremoille, who advises individuals and couples on their lifestyle plans in retirement, uses a portfolio analogy to explain how retirement can be more fulfilling. People understand the importance of a diversified portfolio, she says.
“Like a financial portfolio, they need to have diversification in their life and a balance between the various activities or asset classes,” she adds.
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